Even a Superhero Cant Save Themselves

First modern save the damsel guy, that I can recall; Richard Geer in Pretty Woman.

Pretty Woman White Knight on a Limo

But here’s what I’ve found-he didn’t save her. “So what happens after he rescues her?”

“She rescues him right back.”

She saved him! Vivian Ward was likely on the brink of leaving the world’s oldest profession prior to meeting Edward Lewis. Already successful as a prostitute and keeping her best friend out of harms way, she had a few more tricks and she would have been out. Edward was drowning in his success and guilt. He was unhappy and unfulfilled. Vivian listened to him, built him up and loved him back into humanity. All Edward did was buy her some clothes, take her to dinner and all while riding in a limo. Let’s not leave out the inappropriate relationship with his business partner that nearly caused her rape. Truth be told, given the right circumstances, Vivian would/could do that for herself. Watch the movie again. Vivian saved Edward. And in the end, he only came back for her because he knew he was too weak to do it alone. Vivian saved Edward.

Society introduces the idea that women think they need saving, but I have found in the last nine plus years, women don’t need saving, but men do. Countless times I have found myself in the midst of my own trials, just to have to stifle my emotions to handle the issues of the man in my life.

Get it together.

Keep your head on straight.

Don’t show too many emotions.

Don’t be that girl.

Need more income, get a second job.

Need more income, get a third job.

Would my Knight come if I completely crumbled under the pressures of life? I’m sure my imminent mensuration would be placed in question and I’d be told to dry my eyes.

No one is coming to save you dear one. There are no hero’s. People are people and when the truth is told-we all need saving, and no one person is solely responsible for your salvation.

Forget it! But What Did You Forget?

“There’s no way that could have ever happened!” Or what if you don’t remember it? What if it’s completely different then you imagined and the pure thought of it was complete disbelief? 

I recently read What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty. Yes, I have also read Big Little Lies and The Husband’s Secret. All great and I highly recommend. But,truly I tell you, What Alice Forgot really hit me and captivated my thoughts for the two days it took me to read it. Dont think for a minute I am “one of those readers.” I was at the beach on a girls trip. 

No Spoilers! I will explain no more than what you can find out in the description. So guess what? Alice forgot! Following a gym accident, she woke up and had forgotten the last 10 years. Forgot the birth of three children, the death of a friend; that she didn’t realize she was friends with and to top it off, she has a new boyfriend because she’s in the middle of a divorce. The last she recalls is being in love with her husband, buying a fixer upper and being pregnant for the first time! 

So here I go…what if I still thought I loved my ex husband?  What if I had never met one of my children? That’s a lot! That’s a whole, whole, helluva a lot to process! 

“What Sally Forgot?”

1. The birth of my youngest daughter. (What daughter? I just had a miscarriage, last I recall.)
2. The many miscarriages of many friends. 
3. My divorce 
4. My oldest daughters three cranial facial surgeries. 
5. The death of my grandmother
6. The death of my uncle
7. My brother’s marriage
8. The addition of wonderful friends to a group of longtime friends 
9. The loss of friendships and gaining a friendemy. 
10. What is a wife in law and why do I have one? 
11. What’s a podcast and who is Ross? 
12. Bro what? I have Bromances? 
13. Changing jobs
14. Moving four times 
15. Traveling to Europe
16. My obsession and multiple trips to Orange Beach Alabama.
17. I have a boyfriend? 
18. What is Tinder, Plenty of Fish, Match 
19. Who are all these ex boyfriends 
20. What is Sex and the Motherhood.
21. What do you mean there is no more MySpace? 

As I list these things, to me-it’s a lifetime of experiences but it’s only a third or so of what I’ve experienced so far. Which leads me to the real “aha” moment. Would 10 year ago Sally, like current Sally? I don’t know. Really, it’s hard to imagine even if myself 10 years ago would even be friends with me, now. 

Then there are the things have happened that are unimaginable to 10 year ago Sally. Here’s a bit of a truth bomb: If you think some of my “sex and the Motherhood” experiences were over the top, well…this is the edited version. Yes, you read that correctly. I have left out some major/minor details. Some things you have to keep between you and Jesus. So to be told I’ve done the things I’ve done and experienced what I’ve experienced, would  be too much to take. But to manage my unfortunate choices, poor decisions and let’s just call it what it is, mistakes; I had a moment, several moments. The turning point, when I decided that my path will hold only actions that honor me and my daughters. If it doesn’t fit there, then I move on. Sally, 10 years ago probably thinks that sounds pretty deep, but she doesn’t have the foundation to understand the significance of it yet. She’ll be ok, I promise you that. 

I can’t let my disappointments and struggles outweigh what I have accomplished and overcome. Just looking at the list above, the pictures and processing, I’m proud. I don’t know what the next 10 years have for me, but I hope I remember and honor every step.