When I was in high school there was an intersection of the main hallways. At peak times it was as near to herding cats as possible. As a 14 year old freshman girl, it was overwhelming. Then I began to notice something. I noticed it and I smelled it. It was not strong but it was there. I smelled Ralph Lauren Polo cologne.
I dated two boys that year that wore that cologne. To this day, I will brush its path and I am 14 again nearly being trampled by 1000 other students but swooning what I can not see but only smell.
This week I was embraced by a man in a coffee shop. He was a former coworker and we have remained friends. The next day, one of my dearest friends hugged me too in the same coffee shop. Both men wear cologne and they smelled AMAZING! They cared for me in those hugs in a way I haven’t been cared for in a long time. I felt accepted, nurtured and loved. Not a romantic love. I was truly content.
The thing about these smells, these colognes, they stayed with me. I carried those hugs and the nurturing aroma with me for most of the morning.
The sense of smell is closely linked with memory, probably more so than any of our other senses.
I also realized that, even without romantic love, I am cared for in a way that is safe, non threatening, and that doesn’t manipulate my feelings or actions. By being in relationship with myself first, I am cared for more and I can illustrate to others how they can care for me.
Surrounding myself with my girls, family and friends, rediscovering my happiness, finding the things that matter again. My personal senses have been put to the wayside, but only temporarily. I have repossessed my sense of smell and possibly, maybe even sooner, sight, taste, and touch.
Sex and the Motherhood 