I’m taking an opportunity as I sit and wait on my hair color to take to make a list and elaborate on all the reasons I’m pissed off and how I plan to turn them into greatness!
1. Getting older
- My hair is getting more and more gray! I have named the gray hairs after my father since I don’t recall him having black hair. So, while I slowly turn into Emmy Lou Harris-a hot lady by the way, let’s go ombré again!
- I can’t lose weight. No matter what I try! And, if one more person says, “well, all I did was cut my portions and I lost 20 lbs.” No bitch, you didn’t!” You are on phentermine! Enjoy the withdrawal symptoms when you decide to get off of that! I’m back in the gym! I’m trying! That’s better than popping a pill right? Time to set a goal: three times a week and logging everything on MyFitness Pal! Below is my sanity: Gametime, Dimple of the Universe Tennessee. And I’d like to thank my coach Jerry for making me lift more than I want to. He can thank me for his knowledge of women’s bladder control issues.
- Mammograms-mine is coming. See below for more details under “fear”.
2. Busy-too busy to enjoy the good things!
- I am juggling a few dating options currently. I’m too busy for them and they are too busy for me. One reason people remain single is not selfishness, it’s busyness. So what do we do? Don’t give up. Enjoy growing your relationships and attractions by talking on the phone, texting, whatever. Meet for coffee, quick lunches, etc. I have ruined plenty by having this expectation that we should be each other’s world within four weeks.
- Try him again: if all goes as planned, I hope to grab drinks with an old flame Derek. It’s disguised as a “catch up” drink, but I’d really like to think that maybe our timing is finally right. And timing meaning my ability to get a way for a few hours tomorrow would be a great start.
- I hate tits! And I hate the word tits! But that’s what I’m now calling them. Especially when they cause cancer. Even just the fear of cancer! I’m not 40 yet, and don’t have a family history to qualify to have a mammogram and it qualify under insurance. But hell, I know plenty of people now that could have benefitted from a screening mammogram before 40. While my dear friend awaits a procedure so she can learn more, I’m afraid. I am optimistic of this outcome but this is only the beginning of us being afraid of our bodies. So I’m going to do what I can to take care of mine. This doesn’t mean I’m going to go completely crazy, but don’t be surprised if I smell of essential oils or paying cash for a screening mammograms!
While there are so many others to list let’s get out there, make some bad decisions and celebrate being Bad Moms. I highly encourage you to watch that trailer. I swear, the writers may or may not have consulted me when making this movie!
I must give credit where it is due. I have a SnapChat follower @Mook. He is a sports agent I was introduced to through Gary Vaynerchuck @garyvee. He coined the pharse #pissedoffforgreatness after some NFL draft deals didn’t go so well. Highly recommend if you snap…follow @mook.