I use a lot of songs to get me through moments like this. Here is one by the lovely Sara Evans. Another week and my funk continues. I have considered calling my doctor for “assistance”, but instead I have dove head first into the dreaded exercise routine. The good news is I can consume more Momma Juice now per “My Fitness Pal” when I exercise. After a phenomenal weekend of a girls night out and my first hot yoga class I hit a wall on Monday. While out on Friday, lots of great comments regarding the blog. It is getting really good momentum and I truly appreciate your support. Suprisingly two men told me they were really enjoying it and couldn’t wait to read more! One said to another that hadn’t read it-“dude you have to!” Several of my sweet friends had topics they thought I should write about. We had some good laughs and I had to take notes. Sadly, in 6 years, I am not short on content. A long time girlfriend, Deb set me up on a date with her husband’s friend who just moved to town. Let’s call him “Rainy”. I heard about the following-successful professional moving back to ‘Dimple in the Universe’ for a mid life career change. Never married, no children, really fun, great family. Okay, I am in… Our first date was pretty nice. Dinner at “the Club” with Deb, hubby and Rainy. Plans were made for a second date in a few weeks. Rainy and I spoke several times over the next few weeks and we were clicking. I could initially admit that he was not my type and the devastation of “Derek” had finally seemed to be passing. I was ready to try new things and I thought something completely, I mean COMPLETELY different should do the trick! Right? Good news about Rainy, he likes to cook. Second date is set that he will cook dinner for Deb, hubby, and another couple at his parents house. This is a beautiful antebellum home. Deb and hubby pick me up and we head that way. Rainy is making margarittas when we arrive. It is an amazing southern summer night. We spent the evening under the patio with an amazing view. The dinner he made was surpisingly but not suprisingly good. No one was short on conversation. Good night, right? The time came to leave because Deb and hubby had a sitter. Rainy told me goodbye. He was going to stay behind and clean up the kitchen. Talk about doing things differently. On many levels Rainy was different. Second date and we had only held hands. Well I was pretty proud of myself! The following weekend was an event in town-“Symphony Under the Stars.” A group of lovely couples were getting a table. I thought, finally, someone who will be appropriate to take to these social events I had either gone solo to or taken a good girlfriend. That practice is not deemed pitiful until the coolness of it wears off. (I just don’t go now.) Rainy had heard of the event since moving back to town and thought it would be fun to get out and see #1 people he hadn’t seen in a while and #2 meet new people. So what did I do? I bought a new dress! What is more romantic and southern for that matter than eatting a delicious meal in a field along side another gorgeous antebellum home with lovely live music into the night. AND did I mention, I bought a new dress! As the date grew near I allowed my excitement to get the best of me. I told pretty much everyone planning to attend that I had a date. Included for the ladies my new dress excitement as well. The weatherman however didn’t care and started calling for rain. Not just a little summer rain, but a thunderstorm. Rainy (I hope you are starting to get where the name came from) texted to see if I had heard about the weather. I explained that yes, but I was remaining optimistic. Plus this was a $30 a person event I had already paid for. Clearly on the ticket, ‘rain or shine’. We decided we would see how the weather was the day of. Day of the event comes. Rain is still in the forecast, but he says he is coming. Then he says he’s not, then he is, then he is not. Then I ran into him at the liquor store…”I am getting vodka so I’ll see you later. Meet you there!” I get to the event. Haul my cooler, decor for the table and dragging my new dress, because it is too long. Smile on my face. “Where’s Rainy?” was repeated a few times by my friends. “Oh, he’s coming.” I say *ding*ding(text message) Rainy: I am not coming. This storm looks fierce. Me: Oh come on. If it starts, we will just do something else. Rainy: I’ve just ordered a pizza. My heart sank. Pizza and really good vodka. Sounds like a good time…Damn! I sat between two very nice couples. All knew that I was very disappointed. Dinner was nice, music started and then the inevitable. It started raining….really, really pouring. I ran to the car. Mostly because I was humiliated. I sat for a few minutes, just thinking. What should I do? Should I text him and see what he’s up to? Maybe he will want to hang out? Instead I called Deb. “He did what? Are you shittin’ me? Hubby is not going to believe this. Get over here, now! I am on the porch! Kids are asleep!” I arrive at Debs. Oh good she has wine! She talked to Hubby who was out of his mind on why he would have done what he did. Then Deb tells me: “When we dropped you off after dinner the other night, Rainy didn’t stay and clean up. He drove past us as we were pulling out of your neighborhood. Hubby and I still don’t know why.” Maybe he is gay and doesn’t realize how awesome that is…This wine is really good. Maybe he is into prostitutes or strippers….Let’s open another bottle of wine. Maybe he is a lazy asshole….Got anymore wine? I saw Rainy this summer. It had been 2 years. I didn’t even bother…and he didn’t either. One of only a very few times that I am glad I only held his hand. At times you have to learn to accept the hand you have been dealt. “you gotta know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away and know when to run.” I folded and headed for the hills after Rainy! Deb and hubby still don’t understand what happened. I don’t guess we ever will. I didn’t pay much attention because a few months later-guess who is calling me because he just filed for divorce! -Derek The rainy days continue for me unfortunately. But here is a fantastic and extremely relevant Pinterest post from this evening that put quite the impression on me. 
I went to church Sunday. Don’t be shocked, I attend regularly. To be honest, I almost skipped-hot yoga prep. So glad I didn’t. The minister said something that led to a major moment for me. I literally couln’t wait to Tweet it. He said, “If you are in a wilderness, I hope you take advantage of it.” In this case, I think I will take time to enjoy the rain. Peace to You All!
Sex and the Motherhood 