“Because love, it’s not an emotion. Love is a promise and he will never hurt her.” – The Doctor

How easily I cried. Drop a tear, just in a blink. All the ones that didn’t matter. The short term ones. The ones that never loved me back. Cried for days. Lamented over music. Called friends to cheer me up and drink with me. Burned letters, cut up their clothes. I experienced so much pain for them, but you…why haven’t I cried for you? I came home every night, alone and dealt with it with both eyes dry as a bone. Why haven’t I cried?

Clara Oswald claimed she was owed. That’s where we begin this attempt at crying today. Her love, Danny Pink, has just been killed. #spoilers.

“I’d say I was sorry, but I’d do it again.”, Clara

The ability to trust my judgement is over. I was convinced this was my forever happiness. That in no way I’d ever be in this place again. Now, single, I find myself very angry not at you but at myself. I’d do it again though. All of it. I guess that’s the difference. The others I wept for, I wish I could I have missed experiencing, however you, I’d do the last 8 months all over again.

“Be strong. Even if it breaks your heart.”, The Doctor

And…

“Cut out the whining while you are at it, we have work to do.”, The Doctor

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Wife In Laws

There had been one or two before her. I didn’t realize she was going to change my life too.

In our dimple of the universe, most relationships involving step parents are extremely disfunctional. It was the expected and for me the anticipated reaction. Helping my assumption, was a difficult and dramatic co parenting relationship. It’s been nearly seven, no eight years since we turned the corner and started turning heads. 

Urban Dictionary defines Wife In Law as “The relationship that exists between a divorced woman and her ex-husband’s new wife.” And that’s what we are, but we have grown beyond a relationship, it’s a friendship made of mutual respect and trust. When you put it all together that’s when you get “The Unit”. The Unit can really make people uncomfortable. So picture it, walking into a very crowded softball complex, me, my girls, my ex, the wife in law, her kids, their daughter, her ex, his wife, her kids too, then add the grandparents…there are up,to 4 sets of them…yep, lots of looks. And not everyone in the unit was in love with the idea at the start but our children, all children, deserve support and a peaceful,loving environment and our stance to be dedicated to doing so, we surpassed the concerns and eased into the comfort of it. 

The spirit of summer of 2017 was set with a young professionals group started meeting in the dimple. My friend Ross, who I podcast with on Ask Me About explained our purpose was to be a group of people who could help eachother.   With this spirit, that’s what she and I want to do. We want to share our story, hear your stories and help eachother along the way. 

In the next few weeks, we will begin planning events for women like us. Single ladies in a coparenting, wife in law, situations. You can be in a good place, an in between place or a bad place. You could even be a solo wanting to know more about how to develop a wife in law situation. Maybe you’ve been through it and your wisdom can help. The point is, we want you to come. 

We have the beginnings of a Facebook page at Wife In Laws. Follow us there and await our first event, August 20th is the beginning of this adventure. 

What would happen if through these positive relationships, we created a community of supportive women with one common goal to celebrate our strengths, overcome our weaknesses and impact our families in a positive way? What if we changed your life in a good way? What if we became better friends, better moms, better patents? What if we had fun?