Nothing is better than a pull at your heart strings goodbye ending to a love story. Just thinking about my recent goodbye makes me remember one that gets me every time. Even as I post it, I am tearing up.
So now, my sweatheart…I will write you well.
How do you say goodbye these days? I will see him on Facebook. We will have contact on the phone, for goodness sake, he will only be a plane ride away. But, I feel like he just left me in Oz to go back to Kansas. In short of 36 hours, his twin car to mine will be taking him back to the land of E Pluribus Unum.
One of the my first thoughts of him was, “well you are not in Kansas anymore.” He had only heard that one a thousand times. Truly, geniune and kind. He tells me, that this was not who he has always been. Tennessee for him for a place of healing, wellness and sobriety. He always said, “I am still in Tennessee for a reason.” At times, I wondered if I could be that reason. But like always, I chose wrong and chose my way out of one of the worst “what if” moments of my adult life.
It has been easy to put a Wizard of Oz spin on this with him being from Kansas, but I never could label him as one of Dorothy’s sidekicks. He is brave, he is loving and he is very smart. I was totally wrong, he is Dorothy-leaving Kansas to gain courage, love and intellect here in Tennessee to take back to Kansas.
So if he is Dorothy then who am I? Am I the Lion because I didn’t have the courage to date him seriously these last nine months. Am I the Tinsman because I looked at my options and pretended to not have a heart when I did truly care for him. Or am I the Scarecrow, without a brain to take this opportunity and….You know, you can “what if” yourself to death.
Here is the deal: yes, he was always going home and that scared me to death that I would fall deeply in love and when he left be a mess. So, yes that makes me the Lion. And yes, if you conduct the heartless pros and cons of the situation, I chose the option to pursue another relationship or two, or three in the last nine months. So, yes that makes me the Tinsman. And yes, our situations were the furthest from ideal. I attempted to be smart…So yes, that makes me the Scarecrow. Fearful, heartless and brainless!
You have shown me what true courage looks like. Your passion for your family, your adoring words and deeds towards me show love. You have wisdom beyond your years. Part of you wisdom is your telling me that we can’t live in our past. What we had, as short and as disjointed as it became was lovely and will never for a moment not be treasured.
So my sweet, lovely Kansas boy, are your ready to go home now? “You’ve always had the power to return to Kansas, you just didn’t know it until now.”