I am lucky to have an amazing mother who taught me about the great artists; R&B-Soul artists that is. Aretha Franklin I am sure you are aware is the Queen of Soul and my personal theme song queen only I didn’t realize I had a theme song until an episode of Ally McBeal-“The Theme of Life”. Ally is visiting a therapist brilliantly played by Tracy Ullman. Great episode, but during the session, the therapists challenges Ally to find a theme song. So…what is Ally’s theme song. “Tell Him”
It took all of 10 seconds to arrive at my theme song:
Chain of Fools
If you are caught up with previous blogs, I remain unwantingly in the single status. But for the last 20 years, I have tried my damnedest to not have that status. I guess in high school I began to find significance in the words. One of my dearest bestest friends in high school “Her” shared my love for singing in the car. We would ride forever just to listen to our favorites and sing. Once we went on a double date. Her date, who she ended up marrying years later, drove and didn’t have a radio in his car. No worries, we sang the entire way to dinner. We had been prepping for that with our endless sing-a-longs. Our selection left something to be desired. We did have better moments, but I can’t hear this song and not think of “Her.”
Don’t worry, we can go there…in a heartbeat.
Many relationship types have their own theme songs.
The one that hasn’t happened yet, and may not ever.
When you just need it to stop.
Even though it sucks, you just need them.
Then there are those songs that give you permission to make mistakes, change your paths, fall in love with another.
And then when it didn’t work out.
I am not sure if karaoke has ever been completely cool, but anytime I ever had a chance…I rocked “Chain of Fools”. But I had been rocking it in a whole other way even before karaoke.
Once the discovery of karaoke and close enough to legal drinking age, “Chain Of Fools” took on a life of its on. Between “Her”, “Julio”, “Deb” and many other fantastic supportive girlfriends, it wasn’t a matter of if, it was when will I sing “Chain of Fools”. Not only were they encouraging they would join me as my ‘woo hoo’ back up singers and dancers.
When the time came for me to take the walk down the aisle, it was a no brainier. Karaoke was going to be at the reception. What better way to send off a theme song but to sing “Chain of Fools” at my wedding reception! All those lovely ladies could join me for one last song. No more “Chain of Fools”.
…yea….right! In a little less than 5 years from that wedding day, “Chain of Fools” returned and it remains to this day. But also remaining are the ladies who sang it with me. Supporting me through every verse. A true test of a friendship is how often you can take their repetitive behaviors. My girlfriends are always and unfailingly supportive of my decisions with relationships. They recognize my patterns and pull me out of the depths of despair.
Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. I accepted my no date status finally at 10 pm last night….I fell asleep. But I woke up today and realized I had multiple dates. Friday afternoon, I had a dear dear friend meet me for her second work out of the day so I didn’t have to work out alone. Later that evening, I had a kitchen full of laughter and lovely ladies. Saturday, “Deb” and I kept busy too trying to avoid the inevitable, being alone. This morning, it was clear, I would have rather spent the night alone than spend it with someone who will inevitably hurt me, leave me and/or disappoint me. “Far too many people are looking for the right person, instead of trying to be the right person.” Gloria Steinman. I will always choose myself alone and in a healthy place than finding out someone else has lead to a new theme song. I will proudly keep my “Chain of Fools” status for a bit longer. Sing it loud and sing it proud! “Chain, chain, chain”